She fell into a deep delirium, whispering hoarsely to her dead mother, cursing God in Heaven, cursing her doctor, cursing herself as apparitions of devils and demons pulled at her with yellow ochre hands. To be ill and helpless. In her case the barrier was not selfishness but the perception that her interest would be misinterpreted, naturally. Spiders came out of their hiding places to commune in windows, industriously spinning their own designs over the stained glass.
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